I Hate Writing

I hate writing. I approach every paper like Po from Kung-fu Panda approaches stairs, “My Old Enemy.” Each new paper is met with initial confidence and optimism, yet by the second flight of paragraphs, I am barely clawing my way along. My brain moves too fast. Three or four versions of a sentence run through my head before I even start typing, and yet the final result is ultimately worse than all three mental drafts. I remember my dear mother sitting patiently beside me as I drafted my college-app essays. After many hours and only two sentences, she sighed and said: “you know Melanie, it takes you 3 times as long to write than a normal person.”She’s right. But, despite my only hate relationship with writing, I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame. The appeal, my love and need to tell stories.

My story telling career began long ago. The medium of choice: verbal legends. Whether it be in a small tent surrounded by my siblings, or at the cafeteria table with oranges for actors, or even the center of a game of mauphia, my goal was to paint an escape for all those present, with my words.

Overtime, my story telling methods evolved to become more sophisticated and long-lasting. My new medium of choice: Film. Sunday afternoons, my sisters and I would plan and film tales of Chinese espionage, Rapunzel, gymnasts, etc. The central theme was always ‘the power of girls.’ It was and still is my dream to become a movie director. Where many of my friends would come out of theaters saying “wow, Chris Evans was so hot in that!” I would always exit muttering “Wow, the plot progression and development of the romance was deep and well written.” I knew that any good cinematic story required good writing.

In high school my dream was near realized. For my final film project I wrote and directed a short murder mystery. The screenplay was extremely detailed, every word, every background description and meaning had purpose. I enjoyed using camera framing and montage editing to direct a story within a story. Despite my keen lean towards directing, it was ultimately my screenplay that earned the film critical acclamation.

It was around the premiere of my film that I began imagining a new cinema story. I decided that one day I would make an academy award winning western musical romance film about 19th century racial prejudice against Chinese. I wrote the screenplay and my sister composed the accompanying music off and on for years. One day, so in love with the characters, I deemed the screenplay medium too restricting on their needed development, by so doing I resigned myself to my most dreaded fate. I elected to write a book.

It seems to me that I cannot hide from that which I fear most: writing. I am an Advertising major, writing creative briefs and copy are the tune of my future. I hate it...but, these stories need to be told.